Dear Mommy

Dear Mommy,

I am in heaven now, sitting on Jesus lap. He loves me and and cries with me, for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your lil boy/girl. I don't know what happened.

I was so excited when I began realizing my existance. I was in a dark comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far in my developing. Yet not near ready to leave my surrounding. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest day I felt a special bonding between u and me.

Sometimes I heard you crying. I cried with you. Sometimes you would be screaming and daddy would be yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much? One day you were crying almost all of the day, I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were unhappy.

That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into the warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared I began screaming, but there was no sound. I guess they had you pinned down, becuase you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me.

The monster got closer and closer and closer as I was screaming " Mommy, mommy, help me please!" "Mommy, help me" complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arm off. It hurt so bad. The pain. I could never explain! For my sunny days turned into rain. And all I wanted was for you to love me and give me a name!